How can I be sure that my spouse is really repentant for the pain he has caused me? A year ago, I discovered he’d been involved in an emotional affair with another woman for nearly a decade. He also has a history of explosive anger which has often led to verbal abuse. On a number of occasions he has actually thrown things at me. Though he’s ended the extramarital relationship, softened his demeanor somewhat, and even says that he’s eager to go to counseling and work on our marriage, I can’t help feeling confused. Once he said to me, “I know I’ve messed up in the past, but you have a pretty good thing going with me.” Several times when I’ve mentioned his violent behavior, he has responded with, “Yes, I threw things at you, but I missed.” He also maintains that he only concealed the affair from me for ten years because he “didn’t want to hurt me.” I don’t feel we can move forward until this is resolved in my mind. What do you think?