The Joys and Responsibilities of Grandparenting

The Joys and Responsibilities of Grandparenting

By Carol Steffes

Attention Grandparents: Have we got an assignment for you!

Remember the day when extended families all lived with a 50 kilometre radius – cousins down the road, grandparents across town, in-laws a short car ride away? My, how things have changed. Close-knit family communities are now the exception, with loved ones typically scattered across the country, sometimes around the world.

So we’ve learnt to make the best of things, embracing email, long-distance phone calls and the occasional cross-country visit. But are we doing enough to foster strong family ties? Grandparents in particular often feel as if they’re “missing out” on seeing their grandchildren grow up.

Indeed, distance does not diminish the importance of the grandparents’ role. Nor does it decrease the responsibility grandparents have to pass on their faith to the next generation.

With that in mind, Focus on the Family has recently introduced two books dealing exclusively with grandparenting: Living the Lois Legacy, by Helen Hosier, and The Gift of Grandparenting, by Eric Wiggin. Living the Lois Legacy includes stories from grandparents who’ve effectively passed on a lasting legacy of faith to their grandchildren, while The Gift of Grandparenting focuses on building meaningful relationships with them.

It’s clear that both authors share the same passions – being there for their grandchildren, and encouraging others to do the same. And with their books, Hosier and Wiggin are passing on the wisdom they’ve gained, in hopes that other grandparents might benefit from their years of experience.

Generation to Generation

Helen Hosier filled her book with stories of people whose lives were shaped by their grandparents’ Christian example.

“Faith can be lost in one generation,” Hosier says. “If we aren’t successful in handing on our faith to our children, and they don’t hand it on to their children – it’s gone.”

The inspiration for Living the Lois Legacy came directly from one well-known grandmother who was successful in passing on her faith: I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also. (2 Timothy 1:5)

Hosier and Wiggin point out that 2 Timothy 1:5 is the only verse in Scripture that makes specific reference to grandparenting. According to Hosier, “If [Timothy’s] grandmother Lois had not been faithful in handing down her legacy of faith and her beliefs to her daughter and to young Timothy, we wouldn’t have 1 and 2 Timothy in the Bible.”

Hosier offers many practical suggestions for grandparents who want to model a lasting faith for their grandchildren:

  • Teach your grandchildren that there is security beyond what we have on earth.
  • Reinforce the idea that they are made in God’s image and are special to God and their families.
  • Notice and remark on the positive things that you see them do and the good you see in them.
  • Stay in contact with frequent letters and emails.
  • Model your faith for them in an appealing way; be examples they can emulate.
  • Ask them questions and encourage them to confide in you.
  • Be ready to give an answer for your grandchildren’s questions regarding Christianity.
  • Pray unceasingly for your grandchildren!

Years of Experience

Eric Wiggin recognises that the role of grandparents is more vital than ever nowadays, as parents get busier and children are shuffled from one activity to another. The Gift of Grandparenting encourages grandparents to take an active role in nurturing the emotional and spiritual needs of their grandchildren, building meaningful relationships along the way.

Wiggin figured that his years of experience might prove useful for a new generation of grandparents. His book offers several suggestions on how to build and nurture relationships that will last for years to come:

  • Make your home special for your grandchildren through providing age-appropriate toys and books.
  • Know your family’s history and tell stories that are part of your grandchildren’s heritage.
  • Be careful that you do not come between a grandchild and his or her parent; never criticise the parent.
  • Embrace cross-gender relationships with your grandchildren; don’t underestimate the impact a grandfather can have on his granddaughters.
  • Spend time with your grandchildren when they’re small. Wiggin says, “Give me a grandchild when he’s 7, and when he’s 17 he’ll still respect you.”
  • Attend graduations, sporting events and other activities important to your grandchild.
  • Play games and work with your grandchildren; involve them in your everyday life.

You Can Make a Difference

No matter whether your grandparents had a positive or negative impact on your life, you can make a difference in the life of a child. Even if you don’t have biological grandchildren, there are plenty of opportunities to get involved with children who are desperate for love and attention.

From taking a trip to the zoo to teaching a young girl to crotchet, the difference you can make can’t be measured – and you’re likely to treasure the time you spend together as much as the child!

Carol Steffes is online editor for Broadcast Programming at Focus on the Family USA.