She Wants a Baby! (Part 3 of 4)
By Steve Watters
Hubert and Mary Morken are action people. They like their walks brisk and over rough terrain if it’s available. My breath ran short several times as we climbed hills and dodged rocks with this couple the age of our parents. A sign along the path we hiked read “beware of rattlesnakes,” but I was more afraid of the conversation taking place between the women in front of me. As I heard words like “fertility,” “baby” and “money” pop up, I knew the issue of having kids was back on the front burner.
Back at our apartment, the baby issue got a full hearing. The Morkens were not just casually interested in when my wife and I thought we may have kids—they wanted to know why we weren’t having kids right now.
It was one against three—I felt like a superhero who was outnumbered and had to use his superhuman strength. So I pulled out my rationality. I offered sound numbers and facts to make my case that my wife and I were not ready to have a baby.
But the Morkens came back strong. “Budget for everything except kids,” they said, “after all, kids aren’t simply another expense—they are wealth.”
“ Don’t assume that you are in control of when you can have kids,” they added. “What makes you think you’ll be fertile when you are finally ready?”
Some couples may find the Morken’s style intrusive and dogmatic, but their words rang true to me. In trying to be rational and offer a voice of reason, I had miscalculated the emotions bubbling up inside my wife.
Bringing life into the world is entirely different from purchasing a car or buying a dog. Something as grand and miraculous as a baby goes beyond the realm of calculated rationality and into the realm of faith and risk-taking.
Besides, the Morkens were on to me. They recognized that my sense of caution wasn’t so much evidence of my patience and prudence as it was my fear and trepidation—mostly tied to a desire to hold onto freedom and youth as long as possible.
So, the negotiator in me finally gave in. I stepped up beside my wife on the ledge, strapped us into a dual bungee cord, and we jumped over the edge—leaving our reservations behind.
Steve Watters is a project manager for Focus on the Family. His wife, Candice, is a freelance editor.
She Wants a Baby
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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |