She Wants a Baby! (Part 2 of 4)

She Wants a Baby! (Part 2 of 4)

By Steve Watters

My wife and I try to take long walks in our neighborhood every weekend and we often talk about the week ahead. Sometimes we make plans for the future, but there is always a clear line between immediate plans, like “get the oil changed in the car” and future plans, like “get rich and retire in Hawaii.”

I thought in this instance that my wife was mentioning this hypothetical baby in the future tense. So I agreed that it was a good idea. Then she clarified that she wanted a baby now.

At that point, I suspected she was having another emotional flare-up. There was simply no logic in what she was saying.

She handled most of the bills—she knew we couldn’t afford to have a baby. Besides, we had only been married a little more than a year and still had a lot of exploring to do as new residents of Colorado. I knew I had to encourage her to step away from the ledge and not take the dangerous leap she was contemplating.

So I shared my logic—I talked about the financial numbers not adding up, I reminded her of the dramatic adjustments we would have to make to our social lives, our living arrangements, and our concept of free time.

Although she nodded her head a lot, I didn’t seem to be getting through. She acted differently this time.

She wasn’t taking “no” for an answer. But I knew I wasn’t ready to say “yes.” The impact of this decision just seemed too significant to be made during a casual walk around the neighborhood.

I wasn’t against having kids—I just didn’t think it was the best time. I had to find a compromise. Knowing she wouldn’t accept a “no” I said, “Yes, but let’s just wait a little longer. Let’s pay off some bills, squeeze in some more adventures. Why hurry, we still have plenty of time?”

I waited for her response. She seemed to be considering my counter offer. As she nodded her head in consent, I knew I did it—I got her to hit snooze on her biological clock.

That is, until we went on another walk—this time with an older couple who had mentored us before marriage.

Steve Watters is a project manager for Focus on the Family. His wife, Candice, is a freelance editor.

She Wants a Baby
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4