Rule Over Your Tongue (Part 4 of 9)
By Steve Chapman
This may very well be the toughest challenge a man can face. If mastering the words (including their tone) is not accomplished, he stands the chance of causing harm instead of harmony in his marriage. He cannot constantly use his tongue like a sword and uncontrollably jab with it, withdraw it, and then repent for offending. That kind of repeated abuse will ultimately result in the death of a woman’s affections. Instead, he must be in charge of his tongue the moment a thought or a feeling tries to force its way out of his mouth.
In order to appreciate this need, it would be wise for all men to read, absorb and live by James 3:2-10:
For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well. Now if we put the bits into the horses’ mouths so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well.
Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires.
So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way.
If a husband heeds this advice, his marriage can experi-ence levels of contentment unknown by far too many couples.
In all of his conquering, a man must fight daily to win the battle over the tongue. He must never give up until the day it rests quietly in the grave. To fail to engage in this battle will eventually disqualify him as a good lover. And what man would ever want that sad consequence!
How can I help Nathan win this war? The best informa-tion I can give him is found in Matthew 12:34: “For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart.” Humans are like tubes of toothpaste. Sooner or later we get squeezed by the pressures of life. When this happens, whatever is in us comes out. Another illustration is found in an interesting event that takes place in West Virginia. Perhaps this unusual occurrence can be documented from other areas of the country, but as far as I know it is unique to the “Mountaineer State.” During the summer there are “Ramp Festivals” in the hills. Ramps are a wild onion. Their potency makes garlic smell like the fra-grance of a hyacinth. The most important thing to remember about the ramp, though, is that the smell is most putrid when it comes through the skin after eating them.
Served with ham and other country-type victuals, the ramps are consumed by the mountain masses. If everyone partakes, the nemesis that the rank can be to the nostrils is lessened significantly. However, if a person refrains from the veggie, he will pay for it when he gets in a crowd of folks whose bellies are full of them. As the warm days linger after the ramp dinner has been enjoyed, so does the aroma. It is especially pronounced when a person sweats. Whether he wants to or not, he reveals where he has been and what he’s been eating.
The same is true when it comes to that which exudes from the heart by way of the tongue. When the “heat” is on, whatever a person has been taking in will come out. Does it smell sweet to the hearts of those around or could the aroma bring a runaway train to a screeching halt? A husband who has been consuming the Word of God will not offend his mate when the pressures of life force him to say something.
With this truth in mind, the very best thing I can suggest for my son to do is to fill his heart with the Scriptures. In those times when his tongue is called upon to report the con-tents of his soul, he will speak blessings instead of curses. There’s not a woman alive who wouldn’t appreciate being washed by the pure water of her husband’s sanctified words that are rooted in the Scriptures (see Ephesians 5:26).
Taken from 10 Things I Want My Son to Know: Getting Him Ready for Life by Steve Chapman. Copyright © 2002 by Steve Chapman. Used by permission of Harvest House Publishers. All rights reserved.