Focus on the Family Africa

My Testimony

by Sally Dunn

Living in a small town in Nebraska riding motorcycles, feeding the cows, pulling radishes in the garden and going to church were a part of my family dynamics. It was normal for my family to go to church on Sunday, but behind the scenes my home was filled with abusive words, emotional disconnect and pain.
In high school I began to understand that there was more to being a Christian than just attending church. I got involved in Fellowship of Christian Athletes and started to learn through scripture and godly examples that I had an unhealthy family relationship. At a FCA camp, I prayed understanding that I was a sinner, Christ died for me, and that I wanted Him to come inside my heart to save me from my sins. I knew a relationship with God was everything I wanted. I knew He was the only One who could change me and help me to deal with my family dynamics. I also knew that I wanted to clean out my heart from any hurt and emotional damage I had.

Leaving Home
As my journey to community college began, I gave into temptations that pulled me away from my relationship with God. I started swearing, going to clubs and even compromised my beliefs by dating a guy who wasn’t a Christian. I justified it by telling myself he had great character. Our dating relationship ended with a conversation full of tears and the realisation that we didn’t have a spiritual connection. This was odd because although I wasn’t living the Christian walk, Christ still lived in my heart. I spent the next six months hurt, crying and mad at God because of the end to a relationship where I finally felt connected and loved. After many months of journalling, I finally realised the problem. I hadn’t taken care of the wall of pain to be fully connected to Christ. I had to deal with my emotional baggage I had deep inside my soul. I had to lay down a desire of wanting to be loved by someone so I could fully experience God’s love.

After I transferred to another college for my third year of school, God slowly moulded my heart. Though I was still dabbling in worldly activities, I spent time reading the Bible and attended campus ministry groups. The more I spent time with God, the more healing took place. I had fights with God, had conversations with the ones who hurt me, and chose to change my future from my past experiences and not hold onto them. It was the most heart-wrenching thing I’ve ever done, but the freedom God helped me discover cleansed the deepest part of my soul. I learned how to forgive, change dysfunctional behaviors, see myself through God’s eyes, stop doing worldly things and know God’s truth in both my heart and mind.

I found out how important it is to allow what’s inside my heart to come out in my actions and words. It not only deepened my relationship with Christ, but my relationship with my earthly father too. That’s why I made my life verse John 7:37-38. During this journey God brought spiritually and emotionally healthy people in my life. I desperately needed them for strength, accountability and to help me grow in my journey with Christ.

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