Focus on the Family Africa

Married Couples : Invest in Her Natural Gifts and Talents (Part 6 of 9)

By Steve Chapman

One of the most exciting things about knowing Annie has been discovering the God-given gifts she possesses. When we met in 1963, I had no idea that inside the dairy farmer’s daughter were some incredible abilities that would someday surface. It was around 1967, for example, that I learned how well she could sing. As I sat in the high school choir room and heard her deliver a beautiful solo, her voice was like a healing balm on a wounded soul. To this day it is still sweet to my ears.

It was not too many years later, in the midst of the con-fusion of the 1970s, that I found Annie’s gift of wisdom. I was caught up in the socially rebellious spirit of the age and my "lostness" was evident in the songs I was writing. I invited Annie to my parents’ house to listen to a tune I had recorded. It was a "Bob Dylanesque" song that was long in lyric but short on sense.

When the tape reached the end, I turned the machine off and asked, "What do you think?" Without bat-ting her pretty eyes, she answered, "That sounds like the product of a confused mind." Was I devastated? Absolutely not! Instead, I was swept off my feet. Right there in the base-ment of my parents’ house I was standing next to a genius. She had seen right through my attempt to be someone I didn’t need to be. Her insightful response is one of the many reasons I gleefully cleave to her today! My mama didn’t raise no fool!

I want my son to willingly invest his energy in finding his wife’s natural abilities and doing everything necessary to develop them, including spending his hard-earned dollars. I have happily purchased everything from Crock-Pots to computers to give my sweetheart the tools she needs to use her gifts. Ephesians 5:29 points out that "no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it." Annie and I are one flesh, so I don’t mind treating her as I treat myself. It’s the right thing to do.

Besides, I was sure that every dollar I poured into her life would yield a hundredfold return in our marriage. And I was right! The cooking tools resulted in new "folds" in my waistline, and the computer has given birth to more than eight books. It has been money, time and effort well spent.

Then Comes M.A.R.R.I.A.G.E.

Part 1: Then Comes M.A.R.R.I.A.G.E.

Part 2: M = Maximize Her Needs, Minimize Her Faults

Part 3: A = Admit Your Need for Her

Part 4: R = Rule Over Your Tongue

Part 5: R = Resist the Tendency to Control Her

Part 6: I = Invest in Her Natural Gifts and Talents

Part 7: A = Admit Your Mistakes

Part 8: G = Go Often in Prayer With Her

Part 9: E = Engage the Gears of Sex in the Right Order