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THANKS FOR TAKING THE FOCUS MARRIAGE ASSESSMENT!

After you receive the results from your assessment, plan a time to discuss the results with your spouse. But before you start, read through the instructions to learn how to make the best use of your conversation. We hope this discussion guide helps you and your spouse take steps to build a stronger marriage.

NEXT STEPS

REVIEW YOUR RESULTS

SCHEDULE TIME TO TALK

AGREE ON BASIC RULES

PLAN YOUR DISCUSSION

Now that you’ve received your results, we’re sure you have a lot to share with your spouse!

Before you jump into a discussion, ask your spouse to share a copy of his or her results. Read the answers carefully. Are you surprised? Disappointed? Before you jump to conclusions about your spouse’s report, stop and set a few ground rules so that your conversation is safe, encouraging and designed to help you grow.

GROUND RULES

  • Start the conversation by asking for God’s help.
  • Make growth — not conflict — the goal of your conversation.
  • Commit to a safe conversation. It’s an opportunity to listen to your spouse and share how you want to grow in the coming year.
  • Make it your goal to better understand your spouse’s perspective.
  • Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt.
  • Practice good listening skills: Give your spouse good eye contact and resist interrupting him or her. Repeat back what your spouse says.
  • Be curious. Ask follow-up questions to gain a deeper understanding.
  • Relax. It’s OK if the conversation is awkward or if you make mistakes. Remember that growth is the goal of the conversation.
  • Close your conversation by thanking God for your spouse.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

  • What surprised you most about the Marriage Assessment results? Why did it surprise you?
  • Which strength stood out most? Why? How can you continue to grow in this area?
  • Which weakness surprised you? Why? How can you turn this area into a strength?
  • On a scale of 1 to 10, how am I doing as a husband or wife? What can I do to move the number in a positive direction?

TOOLS TO HELP YOUR MARRIAGE GROW

LIFE LINE: 0861 322 322
RAPE CRISIS: 0800 150 150
CHILDLINE: 0800 055 555
AIDS HELPLINE: 0800 012 322
SUICIDE CRISIS LINE: 0800 567 567 or
SMS to 31393

Or for more help and emergency numbers visit: Grace Counselling www.gracecounselling.org.za or
SADAG www.sadag.org